GOOD RESPONSES TO MISUSAGE OF THE WORD “RANDOM”:

Every time you say “random,” I cry a little. Every time you say “random,” I wonder why a little.

You keep using that word. I don’t think it means what you think it means.

If you misuse that word one more time, I will throw you off a f—ing bridge.

Ha-HAH! Take that, popular music industry!

PC ZEALOT: “Who cares if Windows has the most security holes of any operating system on the planet, coupled with high exposure, making it a walking virus/hacker magnet? I can play ‘Half-Life,’ and you can’t!”

MAC USER: “Actually, with CrossOver Games, I can run most Windows games natively.”

PC ZEALOT: “Shut up! Nobody cares about what you have to say!”

This is a parody of Chick Publications tracts about homosexuality. Clearly, Biblical accuracy means nothing to them.

“JAAAAAAZZ MAAAAAAN!” Who in God’s name wants to listen to that?! Please make her stop singing. Please.

I hate Sarah Palin for reasons that I think should be pretty obvious. Although in the above comic I failed to mention that she has no experience, a history of grotesque budget inflation and that every sentence she says is a lie.

I’m a bit like this on the phone sometimes. My friends hate it.

Also, why are these kids going back to school shopping after school starts? They’re procrastinators, I guess. Or maybe their school gives a list of supplies on the first day or something. Or maybe… You know, I don’t know. Figure it out for yourself.

It’s times like this that I’m glad I’m a pianist.

Nothing, and I mean nothing, is more exciting than that t-shirt.